This is the best barbecue of all time
Pandora FMS organizes its official annual barbecue, summer 2021
Christmas 2019, bubbly employees of Pandora FMS meet, without their knowledge, for their last group meeting outside working hours. Games and lots of laughing, fooling around, party horns, appetizers topped with prawns and champagne. “What do the Christmas baskets have this year?” “Pass me the goose fuagrás to spread on top of my little toast with extreme delicacy before it gets soft.” Party drags on into the night in a murky local of shishas. People in ecstasy embrace one another and we love, celebrate and have fun, promising, at the end of the night, to see each other again in a short period of time. Oh, what will be our surprise when a world scale cataclysm explodes and prevents all real contact until the very and already sacred company barbecue of this summer 2021..
Because it’s been like that, many of our most intimate company buddies have not seen each other, breathed, or touched each other since that last Christmas meeting of 2019. How sad. They missed each other with such force and profusion that this new reunion has only been able to be resolved and collapsed in a celebration, such as the hippy Woodstock Festival of ’69 or the arrival of Pope John Paul II in Brazil, with the Mass in the stadium of Sao Paulo and everything.
But the event didn’t just consist of a series of friendly reunions in slow motion while smelling the bacon being roasted to perfection in the background, just between crunchy and tender, no!, it was much more, and I will take advantage of the fact that we live in the golden age of digital photography to illustrate it.
Pandora FMS – Sacred Company Barbecue, 2021
To start off, we must first talk about the location. From the beginning different options were considered, the beach of Leandro in Fuerteventura, for example, although the procedures to make that hidden place an Ibizan enclave were going to be hard to manage, or the midfield of the Wanda Metropolitano, stadium of our beloved Atlético de Madrid. But that didn’t turn out well either. On the same day, the only date in Spain, Taylor Swift played. So we decided on something more cute and Sundayish: a campsite, full of friendly tourists bathing in the sun and chubby children, who, given their parents getting their fill of sangria, ran near the edge of the pool without anyone stopping them. Caravans, robust prefabricated huts, public toilets, elongated porches, the possibility of jumping on a trampoline right after having lunch and under the heat of three in the afternoon… In short, a paradise that can only be described by Virgilio or by me. Camping Alpha, it was called. We had a great time and from here we recommend you to visit it.
The first to arrive were in charge of establishing the foundations of the organization of a good barbecue: cool the beers, open the bags of crisps and hot dogs, and pray that they do not have the only important mission: to be the official chef of the evening. It is a position that is applauded and praised but hated. Nobody wants that kind of work. And less in June at thirty degrees. Staying safe from the sun and beer nearby, that’s what everyone longs for. However…
However, there were heroes. Heroes named Quique Condés, Channel Manager in the company, and Marcos Serrano, Graphic Designer, who risked their physical integrity by approaching the fire at filthy temperatures, to sweat and present us at the table the greatest delicacies that can be offered by bacon, sausages and ribs. Poets of the forge, smoked by the black seed of coal, effects of Fata Morgana reverberating in her armpits, and… yet always firm and ready to smile. Few beers were offered in appreciation.
Here is a sample of their haute cuisine. We will upload the video to our channel with the recipe. But take note, you need bacon and salt, peasant style bread, if you like to eat with two loafs per serving of meat.
Here we already have a sample of Renaissance art. The Last Supper if Yesuscraist had taken his Jewish epigones to a campsite. The important thing is to eat in a hurry and eagerly. You know your companions. If you are not fast enough, they will leave you without the long-awaited seasoned ribs. So a bite of sausage, a few crisps of these birthday bags, bread, do not forget, chew twice and swallow it all with cold beer. There is no place to choke. It is time you waste without eating.
Here you can see grazing, in their natural habitat, that small subgroup which are the interns. If you get too close, they will scatter, like a herd of wild bamboos still close to puberty. But if you however think you have mastered their language and say “cool” and “awesome” things without squeaking like the mature oldie you are, you can try socializing with them. But don’t trust yourself too much, take care not to end up telling one of your battles, otherwise they will leave bored one by one, without you noticing and they will regroup away from you.
However, sometimes there may be a respectful relationship between intern and tutor. A bond as strong and knotted as Emma’s lacquered pigtails in the Spice Girls. Based on complaints from the intern and sealed by the corresponding reprimands by his superior authority. I let you guess, dear readers, who of the two is the intern and who is the tutor.
Many may think that it is a by-product, but here is a clear, faithful and quick example of the smile and the festive blush that a good bottled sangria can draw.
As every year, at each official barbecue, the famous Artica Awards were held. So don’t panic. These two burning chives are our presenters. On the left, with stylized leopard shorts, the Ana Obregón of yoga and reception, Carmen Rodríguez, and on the right, with a visible joy produced by the twelve beers he already had, Dimas Pardo. Both were in charge of guiding the gala with the elegance and the know-how that characterizes them. They were the perfect coupe. They fit better than two Lego pieces fresh out of the box, the Iron Man armor in the first movie, the whipped cream and the Kama-sutra with your last girlfriend.
Here are the categories and winners of this year:
- SEXIEST person: .Kornelia Konstantinova.
- DRUNKEST person: Alberto Sanchez AKA Alsanba.
- FUNNIEST person: Marcos Alconada.
- Most ABSENT-MINDED person: Raúl Martín
- KINDEST person: Javier Mannuzza.
- BUBBLIEST person: Technical tie between Carmen Rodriguez and Alexander Rodriguez. *They are not brothers.
- CLUMSIEST person: Lidia (intern) *She does not have last names because she is an intern.
- SMARTER person: Rafael Ameijeiras
- Most CREATIVE person: Javier Mannuzza
- Most MYSTICAL person: Elias Veuthey
Here we have Marcos Alconada showing off his exquisite award: a chicken hat with a light feather and scarlet caruncle. We know, for good measure, that there will be no Tinder date or Nephew’s Communion in which he does not take it upset and cackling.
Another of the winners, Elias Veuthey. Although he won in the category of mysticism, for his knowledge in this science and the enigmatic aura that he gives off, he was also nominated, as is evident, in the category of sexiest. There were fights in the pool to sign foreheads, thighs, arms and backs. We ran out of permanent markers. Damn groupies!
We finish the photographic tour with the winner in the sexiest category. She is Kornelia Konstantinova and right now Elle and Vogue magazines are crazy over her for their covers, and, well, Marvel Studios has already offered money to speed up Scarlett Johansson replacement as Black Widow in possible sequels to the franchise.
And with this we close this extensive slide show. We hope we made you jealous enough, dear readers, so that you will sign up next year, whether it be to the pool, as volunteers to cook or in the voting of the award nominations. Meanwhile, if you miss us, we wait for you in our blog and in our different social networks, from Linkedin to Twitter not forgetting Facebook. We even have a YouTube channel , and with the best storytellers. Ah, we also have a new Instagram channel! Follow our account, we still have a long way to go to match that of Billie Eilish.
Dimas P.L., de la lejana y exótica Vega Baja, CasiMurcia, periodista, redactor, taumaturgo del contenido y campeón de espantar palomas en los parques. Actualmente resido en Madrid donde trabajo como paladín de la comunicación en Pandora FMS y periodista freelance cultural en cualquier medio que se ofrezca. También me vuelvo loco escribiendo y recitando por los círculos poéticos más profundos y oscuros de la ciudad.
Dimas P.L., from the distant and exotic Vega Baja, CasiMurcia, journalist, editor, thaumaturgist of content and champion of scaring pigeons in parks. I currently live in Madrid where I work as a communication champion in Pandora FMS and as a freelance cultural journalist in any media offered. I also go crazy writing and reciting in the deepest and darkest poetic circles of the city.