Mysteries in Pandora FMS: the letter written and sent from Sweden
All kinds of stories happen in Pandora FMS. And perhaps one day we will be lucky enough that Christopher Nolan himself will take us to the big screen, thus completing almost impeccable filmographies.
The story that I’ve come to tell you today is one of our favorites. Cute and weird, ideal to tell right next to a bonfire while the wind howls in the plain or simply to read on the subway while reviewing the news of our beloved and glaucous blog. In any case, I want you to pay close attention and have fun, like we had remembering it.
One normal day, like any other day in an office, lively Julia, our administration and proofreading colleague, picked up a letter from our mailbox. Usually we find there boring letters from the bank, invoices from suppliers and furniture advertising, but this time Julia came across something very different: a letter from far away Sweden. It was unusual, we didn’t expect our big order for falsterbotofflor and lovikkavantes for a few months. The letter came with lots of stamps. If the level of urgency of letters was measured in stamps, this was a true DEFCON 2. And in addition, the letter was addressed to a certain… “Mr. eHorus!”
Our colleague Julia sat on the stairs of the building, there was no time to waste, and from the envelope, meticulously opened, she took out a light and simple sheet written in shaky handwriting that said: “LARS ERIK SVEN AKE, give me back the 100,000 Swedish crowns you owe me!!!”
No, we’re not kidding. As we already said, the letter was addressed to a certain “Mr. eHorus” and said something like: “Please Mr. eHorus, can you unsubscribe me from your product?” It was written in unusually large handwriting and with all the remarkable warmth from the personality and gentleness of Swedish people.
Julia got up from the stairs and began to investigate how someone like Mrs. Britta, that’s what our pen pal was called, had ended up receiving our notifications.
Because, of course, I hadn’t told you yet: WE ARE THE MYSTERIOUS MR. EHORUS!!! eHorus is a cloud-based remote computer management system (SaaS) created by Pandora FMS team. Ad insert: “It works as simple as installing an agent that will run as a service on the computers you want to access. These agents will connect to our eHorus servers so that you can connect to them from anywhere with an internet connection, without having to install client applications on them.”
Well, spam aside, according to the investigations carried out by our colleague Julia, Mrs. Britta should have gotten into one of our social networks, such as Facebook, Twitter or Youtube and gotten subscribed. And of course, Britta received all the information from our updates leaving her in a total state of concern because she believed that, somehow, she was paying for the service. That could not be, so, as she did not know how to stop following us on social media, he chose the analog solution: sending us an express mail.
We believe that Britta, of advanced age and who seems to know little about the world of technology and monitoring, came to subscribe or like the Ehorus page because we guess she believed, due to the content that we could see in her Facebook profile, that it was of a page of esoteric nature. You know, Horus (“the high one”) was the celestial god in Egyptian mythology… or whatever. We could only think of that.
Julia brought the letter to our CEO, Sancho Lerena; he would know what to do. And so it was, he immediately asked for a parchment of the best quality and drew his golden pen with the sharpest double-edged nib and began to write, in his own handwriting, a reassuring reply to our Britta. He also thanked her for being so involved. Of course, there are no many more people like that nowadays. With no hearts but with an elegant and emotional postscript, the letter was sent. With the best and most beautiful stamps of the company and in a certified way, of course. Something typical of Mr. Ehorus, who would never think of charging anyone for their notifications on social media. And even less to a naive old Swedish woman.
To this day we still have not gotten a response from Britta, but we look sideways, like a girlfriend waiting for a response from the front, every morning at the mailbox. Oh, someday, I pray to heaven, she will answer us.
Programador desde 1993 en KS7000.net.ve (desde 2014 soluciones en software libre para farmacias comerciales en Venezuela). Escribe regularmente para Pandora FMS y ofrece consejos en el foro. También colaborador entusiasta en Wikipedia y Wikidata.
Machacador de hierros en gimnasios y cuando puede se ejercita en ciclismo también. Fanático de la ciencia ficción.
Programmer since 1993 in KS7000.net.ve (since 2014 free software solutions for commercial pharmacies in Venezuela). He writes regularly for Pandora FMS and offers advice in the forum. Also an enthusiastic contributor to Wikipedia and Wikidata.
Crusher of irons in gyms and when he can he exercises in cycling as well. Science fiction fan.